A month of firsts

Nearly the end of another month and one that has presented many firsts without Steve.....Our birthdays, the anniversary of our first meeting and valentines day. I am not lying to say that I will not be sorry to see the end of fricking February! However, upon saying this, when another month ends, this means another month has passed since I lost Steve and another month of memories has been made without him. I think this is what I am finding the hardest.......moving forwards without him, laughing and joking without him, making decisions without him. Nevertheless, moving forwards is what I must do and despite the emotional challenges that this month has presented, there have been some great moments - a fantastic evening out with many of my closest girlfriends for my birthday, a half-term break to my sisters, a celebratory tea for Steve's birthday plus a lovely child-free meal out with 6 of mine and Steve's closest and amazingly supportive friends. Tomorrow sees me start the next chapter of this journey as I go back to work. I must admit that I am looking forward to going back, although the prospect of making my life that even more chaotic by doing so, is a little daunting!! I guess this presents the next step in things starting to return to "normal" although of course "normal" as I once knew it, will never be the same again. I am looking forward to the start of Spring, with more things planned and more to be thankful for. Firstly, March will see me be lucky enough to go on yet another little break, this time child-free skiing with Donna, George, Debs and Steve (I will try not to break anything) - thanks to my lovely in-laws for babysitting! March is also Brain Tumour awareness month so you may see us crop up in some newspapers and articles again, as we look to raise the profile of this awful disease and ultimately, increase funding into its research. I will also be attending Westminster as part of the BT research lobbying group, to push the Government for more national funding into BT research. I will keep you informed of how this goes. Lastly, I would just like to say a continued heart-felt THANK YOU for your continued messages and well wishes - to know you are all there, thinking of me and the children is of huge comfort and is helping us all through some really difficult times. T